Cody keeps reaching out. Not keeps like crazy repeatedly, but enough. I do too, with my every few week check ins. It means nothing, only explaining the title. Because he sent me a picture of a lighthouse a few minutes ago.
***
Thinking about my DTS a lot again today, but there is a reason for that. I’ve been trying to finish that stupid journal. It’s all written, I just have to physically get it on paper. Obviously that would mean that I am thinking of them.
Stalking the upcoming DTS also didn’t help. I did want to meet these new people, I was excited to, but I guess even as it keeps sinking in that most of my friends won’t be there, I keep forgetting. Trevor being there when we got back from Outreach was the only reason I didn’t completely shut myself out from talking to them. And Ella letting me know what they were like. It’ll be just like the first day of DTS all over again, having to make new friends. (Better though. Ethan and Naomi and Charlie and Sarah and my friends on staff. That’s a good start.)
***
I’m watching this show that I hate and love at the same time.
The Summer I turned Pretty.
The concept is stupid. The books that the show was based off of were garbage.
Basically this girl with the worst nickname in the world (come on. Belly? Really? Did you want her to fail??) turns 15, gets her braces off, gets contacts, starts straightening her hair, and grows boobs, and so everyone falls in love with her. I hate her. She is aged up in the show, so 16-20 age range throughout. She acts 12 and 35 simultaneously. Other characters of note. Conrad-angsty sad boy who Belly has loved forever, he loves her too, but his angsty sad boy-ness gets in the way. Turns out he’s angsty and sad boy because his mom has cancer and he wasn’t supposed to know but found out anyway!! Jeremiah-Conrad’s brother, likes Belly, Belly takes him whenever Conrad isn’t available. He’s goofy in the first two seasons, becomes a frat boy, and then is a literal manchild and he also has anger issues. Susanna-the dead mom of the boys after season one. Laurel-Belly’s mom, actually the best character for real, but you can tell that her parenting style is non Christian. Steven-Belly’s brother, who’s written to be annoying, but honestly, he’s just a protective older brother. We support. Taylor-Belly’s best friend who was high key a horrible person until you find out about her trauma, then it’s all ok.
Belly’s inability to make a choice ever in her life drives me insane, but mostly because I am the same way. The whole show is just her bouncing between the brothers, and it’s gross.
But for some stupid reason, I’m hooked. I started watching so I could see how “the world without Jesus” lives. Stayed for the drama I guess.
It’s better than Love Island.
***
Watching romance shows is doing nothing for my yearning for a boyfriend problem.
Oh well.
***
Once again hitting writers block. That’s ok, it’s late. I’ll just go to bed.
Soundtrack, but describing the song with words too.
Summertimes Close (Zach Bryan). No description. If you’ve heard one Zach Bryan song, you’ve heard them all.
In My Room (Julia Wolf) perfectly describes me when I like a boy. And it’s an angsty rock song. what more do you need.
The Chain (Fleetwood Mac). You know this song. If not, try again.
Silver Lining (Mt. Joy) sad pot heads from the mountains wrote this.
I love you (Billie Eilish). Ya girl has cried to this song countless times.
Wild Turkey (Amythyst kiah) discovered because we’re name twins. Acoustic guitar and sad.
Rainy Ramblings 