50 days.
Until the start of Advance.
Things will kick into motion a bit before that.
48 until I’m back in Washington.
46 until I see Trevor again.
30 ish until I leave Lumber House, very likely for good.
25 until I see my extended family members for the last time for a year or so.
I am so ready.
I got to see Matthew today, and that was decidedly awkward. We were never super close, we just happened to be besties with the same people, so without Trevor and Ashlin to bridge the gap, the moments of silence stretched out long.
Of all the people I thought I would get to see first, I didn’t really expect it to be him, and I didn’t think it would be in a McDonalds planned an hour before.
Maybe those kind of reunions are better, because I didn’t have time to be sad about having to leave them again.
As I am already doing with Trevor, Mama Sarah, Christina, and everyone in Advance.
Yayyyyyy.
Ok. This post is purely directionless. *cue me rubbing my hands together like a fly* That means I get to do what I want. And I’m not sad, so I get to not be bogged down by sorting through emotions.
Hmmmmm
I’m watching the Chosen right now, and it’s making me realize how much I’m missing out on with my lack of intimacy with Christ.
I haven’t prayed in. A while. Since He told me no to STS I think.
I was lucky to get that answer, because I would have gone. I guess He knew that, which is why He spoke up.
Do you know how much I’d rather be there, exploring the new coffee shop, learning weird Bible diagraming stuff, hanging out with Trevor and the staff around the base, sleuthing for Ashlin, talking to Christina, finally seeing Mama Sarah again? I’m sure you do. (You being. Myself? God? Trevor? Idk man, no one else reads this)
That’s ok though. I get to be here. I get to help Michaela finally start teaching, getting out of Lumber House. I get to make money (have to make money smh). I get to watch The Summer I Turned Pretty with my mom and sister every Wednesday. I get to read through my very large book stack.
Nothing super exciting. I did get to see Matthew, which wouldn’t have happened.
I’m helping a lot of people move to a new stage of life right now. I just realized that. I helped Carol (old english teacher) move today, cleaning parts of her house that she couldn’t get to in her old age. I am watching Brooks and his family move. This weekend. Woah. The first tears over that. I haven’t talked to Brooks in a few months, but those years of friendship don’t simply disappear once the relationship fades. And I was close with his whole family. I knew his house like my own. Hm. I’m helping my mom switch classrooms. There was more. I don’t remember it though. Sad. Oh. I already sort of mentioned it. Michaela is switching from lumber house stuff to teaching at a local elementary school, and I’m so excited for her.
A bug just crawled across my screen. Help. Why. What did I do. Please leave.
I’ve started making sad edits. Because of course Kiah would do that. So far I have some for Lord of the rings, House MD, and The Summer I Turned Pretty, but you best believe that more are coming.
Maybe.
It sort of is a big waste of time, but I think it’s fun.
Oh random, I wouldn’t have been able to see Matthew today if I didn’t possess a drivers license, so that’s fun.
This post really reflects how my mind works at zero percent sadness.
There is a reason that I don’t typically write when I am at anywhere below 45% sad.
Is it ADHD or did my English teachers think I was too funny to correct when writing papers.
I guess we’ll never know.
Soundtrack for writing: At the beach in every life (Gigi Perez). Fully Dependent (mercy Culture Worship). Mistakes (Gregory Alan Isakov). Twilight and Shadow (Lord of the Rings Soundtrack). Solas (that one piano song)
Rainy Ramblings 