Turtles all the way down.

Time to write my thoughts on the book mentioned in the last post. Because boy do I have a lot of them. 

I already went sort of into how much I relate to the main character, Aza. This book had one of the most scarily accurate representations of what my mind looks like in a spiral probably ever. It’s just weird timing that I had a cataclysmic spiral while reading this book. Maybe the book wouldn’t have meant so much to me if that hadn’t happened. 

John Green did an amazing job. I know some people diss the writing style, but I feel that I write in a very similar way. It’s prose underneath it all, but it reads very introspectively. I love it. 

The day I started the book, I actually told Ashlin that I had a feeling this book would be one of those books that roots itself in my mind, that I’ll have to go back to read again and again over the years. Maybe I’m just coming off of the book high, everyone knows that I can’t bear to be normal about anything. But I fear this book fundamentally changed me as a person. It affected how I spiraled yesterday, and how I was able to communicate that spiral with this blog, with Trevor, with myself. 

I maybe don’t know how to write what I want to say. I might stop for now and pick this up later tonight.  

Ok it’s later tonight and I still don’t have as much as I thought. I’ll try though. 

Davis is secondary character whom I love. He doesn’t really have any character development, but he has a blog almost exactly like this one, and that was enough to make me love him. 

I think I could have written this better last night. When I was still spiraling sort of. 

I think the biggest thing that this book did was help me think of those thoughts as “other”. It’s not necessarily me controlling those thoughts and those panics, even if that is what it seems like to others. 

This isn’t coherent at all. I’m sorry I thought this post would be a bit longer. Womp womp.