Category Archives: Journal

I want to write in a different style, less just letting my thoughts flow and more actual prose, but I’m not sure how, or if that would even be enjoyable. So for now, the title is a lie.  I’m trying to keep busy. I reduced hours (dramatically) at my job. That is a good thing.Continue reading “Something New”

Fourth of July was sad this year. I got used to the rhythms that came with this day. Going to my grandparents, having a puzzle contest then going to parades with my mom and sister, then doing random things outside until it was dark enough we could reasonably launch fireworks.  My mom and sister weren’tContinue reading “Hence the Name”

I am not allowed to be upset I am not allowed to be upset I am not allowed to be upset I am not allowed to be upset I am not allowed to be upset.  I am not allowed to be upset.  But I am.  But I shouldn’t be.  The fact that I am provesContinue reading “I Am Not Allowed To Be Upset”

I’m 19 I should probably reflect on my year or something like that. It’s most certainly been one of those. I don’t know if any other year can ever top it, but you know me, I’ll certainly hope so.  A year ago today, as the clock struck midnight, I was laying in a hammock whereContinue reading “19”

I don’t know what is happening to me. I feel like I’m out of control, but only I notice it. I’m happy a lot, but the second I am without distraction, I am off. Sad? Anxious? Both? Some other, secret third thing? I’m off to the point that I can’t even pinpoint what exactly isContinue reading “Help me (but not really)”

The build up to the goodbye is the worst. A week of nights spent crying, or trying not to. You don’t want to spoil the last few precious moments you have left with them. Trying to spend as much time together as you can, knowing it will never be like this again. Once the goodbyesContinue reading “The Art of Missing Someone”

One of the main symptoms of re-entry shock was anger at the way things are run back home. That symptom, out of all of them, is the one that shocked me the most. Isolation? Psh, I knew that was coming. But this, this has been hard to cope with. I sat in a church onContinue reading “Re-entry Shock”

Outreach I start to write this in the van on the way back from our last bit of ministry in Thailand. I have not processed anything here beyond surface level since Mama Sarah went back to Lynden. I don’t know where to start; Outreach has been so vibrant and full, these past two months mayContinue reading “Thailand”